As of today I am going to make a conscious effort to be a more positive person.
People keep saying to be different and change but unless the way I am thinking is destructive…. I don’t think changing completely is the answer and it’s pretty unrealistic for anyone to expect that of anyone. Instead of changing my thought process I think I should work on just improving it which will probably slowly lead to a different and more healthy mindset.
For example…. instead of worrying about something that’s going on all day and mentally exhausting myself till I’m a nervous wreck and then get angry with myself and wanting to be different….I think I need to accept that I am just a worrier and when I am in fact worrying about something instead of blocking it out or obsessing…I just need to take a moment to worry and then simply……move on. Not move on and never visit it again but move on in the moment and not let it cloud everything else that’s going on in my life.
Same with people. I need to accept people more. I need to accept that some people are just going to be mean no matter what you do. All I can do is control how I am in the situation and behave the way I want to behave. If I feel like I’ve been nice and don’t deserve to hear mean things or be treated badly then instead of wondering why people have to be mean and wondering what I did wrong and letting other peoples negative comments or thoughts weigh on me and make me question myself when I know I haven’t done anything to provoke those things being said or done then I need to just….let it go and know that I did nothing wrong and if they can’t see that then that’s within them and a reflection on them not me. And I don’t mean I’ll never take the blame for my wrong doings either I just mean that unless I’ve really done something wrong or can really see where I messed up then I need to let it go. Like if a customer is rude to me no matter what I do….no matter how polite I’ve been…then okay I did my best in that situation and not give them another thought.
I also think that once I accept myself and my own issues with myself I will be able to be happier with well….myself. If I accept that I’m different and sometimes awkward and cant relate to some people and that I make mistakes and accept my issues with myself physically that I’ll be a lot more comfortable in my own skin and be able to enjoy things more.
Happiness doesn’t just come to you in every aspect of your life. You have to find some of it. I have people in my life that make me happy. I’m starting school for my dream career. My future is set my life is going the way I wanted it to go with who I want it to. In those areas I’m so lucky. But I want to be happy in the now too. So I think it’s up to me to go out and find things to make that happen. Make things…paint again. Get out and just exist. Once I really make that effort….I can’t see how good things won’t happen or how good feelings won’t come.
People will still be mean I’ll still worry but if I just make the little effort and keep the realization that I only have control over what I do….I think I’ll just feel…better……I am not sure but I have hope and with that..I think I can do anything.
Gahhh sorry for the rant!! So sorry!! I hope everyone has an amazing day! Thank you all so much for being there for me!! And may the force be with you!!
